The Selfishness of Sperm Donation

CBC Network 6 November 2014
A recent essay in the New York Times tells the story of a lesbian couple in Brooklyn who used the sperm of one of their friends in California to conceive their son.

By happenstance, the sperm donor and his wife became pregnant shortly thereafter, and the writer cheerfully claims that it was their Californian friends’ willingness to serve as a donor that brought about good karma in the birth of their own child—or as the title of column states, “It Was in Giving That They Received.”

The children of the two couples will doubtless encounter each other throughout their lifetimes since their parents are friends and they desire for their children to grow up as friends as well (half-siblings, in fact!). It’s hard not to imagine, however, some conversation taking place around age seven (if not before), where the sperm donor conceived child of the two lesbian mothers begins to ask questions about his father.

At some point they will likely tell him who his biological father is and since the two couples are family friends, their son will personally know the very man who helped bring him into existence. I surmise that he’ll very likely wonder—even in he doesn’t vocalize it—why his childhood friend is being raised, loved, and cared for on a daily basis by his biological father while he is only allowed to know him as an “uncle” or family friend.