Families Respond To

Latta Review

The credibility of Family First and the credibility of the families we advocate for was attacked when the Latta report on the smacking law was released last week. The families have responded with an Open Letter, and we have highlighted the shortcomings of the report. Ultimately the Terms of Reference of this review were to go to CYF and the police, and ask whether they were applying the law correctly. Of course, they said "yes we are"!! The Prime Minister got the report he wanted, but it failed to tackle the bigger issues which we highlighted in our previous newsletter - see here

PROSECUTED
4. Daughter rude to police. Father charged for smack 
North Island
Oct 2008 
"My daughter went through a difficult patch and became highly rebellious, including wagging school. She was picked up by the Police whilst wagging and taken to the Police Station and was highly belligerent towards them. I took her home in the car and attempted to communicate with her as we drove. She refused to talk and responded to everything with a “yeah right”. To get her attention I smacked her once on the leg with an open hand and said “listen to me – this is serious.” The next day she again wagged school and went instead to CYF, encouraged by her friend, and told them I had ‘assaulted’ her. Despite my explanation to CYF, they asked the police to charge me. The officer who had charged me visited me at my home expressing concern about charging me but as I had admitted giving her a smack and the way the law was worded he had very little leeway. I was convicted of assault but discharged without further penalty. My daughter never thought it would go so far and has admitted to CYF that it was purely ‘I’ll get you’-based."
'I asked for help but instead got conviction'
NZ Herald Jul 28, 2009
A Wellington solo father says he went to Child, Youth and Family Services for help - and ended up with a conviction for smacking his daughter.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10586994

PROSECUTED
5. Father charged and convicted for requiring respect towards mother 
North Island
June 2008
On the way to school, mum and dad were angry at their daughter (12) for not doing her chores that morning. Dad, who was driving, reached across to his daughter in the front passenger seat and smacked her on the arm 2-3 times to demand that she listen to her mother. A driver in the vehicle behind claimed the father was punching the daughter and rang 111. Six police in three cars turned up at the daughter’s school. The police records show that the daughter didn’t feel any pain from the alleged ‘punching’. There was no bruising or marks of any kind. The police charged the father with assault. He was banned from living at home or seeing his daughter for two weeks. He pleaded guilty to assault simply to avoid the shame, stress, and costs of a defended hearing. His daughter (an A grade student at school) is simply pleased to have dad home. An MP who reviewed the case described it as ‘disturbing.’

PROSECUTED
6. Grandfather charged and convicted for tipping child out of chair to get a ‘move-on’
South Auckland
January 2008  
A grandfather was charged and convicted of assaulting his grandson for tipping him out of a bean bag-type chair in order to 'get him moving'. He had refused to turn the tv volume down and then refused to turn the tv off when asked. The grandchild rang 111. The grandmother and grandchild pleaded with the police not to take granddad away, yet he was held in prison cells for 2 nights, then bailed back home, despite police objections! His lawyer advised him to plead guilty to avoid cost and hassle.

PROSECUTED
7. Father charged yet case dismissed in court 
Glen Innes
NZ Herald 11 April 2008
A 30-year-old Glen Innes father was charged by police for allegedly hitting his five-year-old daughter with an open hand on the back of the head and swinging a pair of jeans at his six-year-old daughter. He had to spend a day in the police cells and police opposed bail! CYF also investigated the family yet found nothing to be concerned about. The complaint was made by a sister-in-law with whom there was believed to be animosity with because of her interference with the children.

When the matter eventually came to court, the police offered no evidence and the case was dismissed. His lawyer said that the dad had pushed one of the girls to get her to hurry for school and threw the jeans at the other to get her attention. He said "When the whole issue was being discussed in Parliament and in public, they said that minor matters would not end up in court, it would only be the serious ones... the public were given assurances that the police would consider this law carefully, and in this case they have not."
READ FULL REPORT

PROSECUTED
8. Father charged for correcting defiant child yet case dismissed
Nelson
15 November 2008
Dad was having major issues with his son and was working hard to try and get him 'back on the tracks." The son (11) had been stood down from school four times, had sworn at the principal, had to be physically restrained by two police during an incident at school, and had a special minder at school to keep him out of trouble.

Dad was charged for two separate incidents – the first where dad had smacked the son’s bottom when he continually defied his father’s instructions, and the second incident where the son threw a chair at his father and called him a “f**’ing idiot” and the father attempted to give him a 'clip'. The police sergeant who attended the first incident was spat at by the son! No charges were laid because of the first incident, yet then were because of the second more minor incident.

But the week before the trial was supposed to begin, all charges were dropped. READ FULL REPORT
Dad who smacked loses son http://www.stuff.co.nz/thepress/4761488a6009.html

CHILDREN REMOVED
9. Parents seek help - CYF remove children 
South Island
Nov 2008 
John* and Sue* sought help from a social service because of the behaviour of their daughter (9). The two case workers were very affirming of them as a family and seemed both positive and helpful. On a subsequent night, the daughter had a major tantrum which involved throwing toys, banging the bunks against the wall and verbal abuse of mum. Dad warned her that if the behaviour continued she would receive a smack on the bottom (she had already been sent to her room at this point).  She continued and dad gave her a smack on the bottom. She stopped the bad behaviour, and shortly afterwards came out remorseful and apologetic. At the next meeting with the social workers, Sue mentioned that they did smack their children but only when their behaviour warranted such discipline, and that John had smacked their daughter the previous day. That Friday, Sue received a call from CYF to inform them that an allegation of abuse had been made and that they needed to find alternate accommodation for their two children over the full weekend until Monday morning. They were interviewed by the police for 5 hours and later found out that the report to CYF said that ‘they admitted to hitting their children'. CYF have since apologised and admitted they would learn from this!
UPDATE: CYF says sorry to 'traumatised' family
NZ Herald July 29, 2009
CYFS admit they "could have done a better job" in the way it handled an allegation that a couple had smacked their daughter

10. Parents seek help - Referred to CYF Instead 
Auckland
July 2008
Jeff* and Mary* were having behavioural problems with their 10 year old son. At times, their son would scream at, kick and hit his mother. Their usual forms of discipline were time out, writing lines, and as a last resort, a smack. They realised other help was necessary and were referred to a child and youth mental health service. At the initial interview they mentioned that as a last resort they occasionally used a smack. As soon as the social worker heard the "smack" word, she short-circuited the conversation and insisted on interviewing the son alone while Jeff and Mary were asked to leave the room. They were subsequently reported to CYF and were petrified that their kids might be removed. They say that there is a warning here to all parents who use physical discipline as a means to kerb absolute defiant behaviour in their children - with the current law as it stands, if parents go to any health agency for help, they will be reported to CYF. The case has been subsequently closed by CYF.

11. Boy interrogated at sleepover. CYF called 
North Island
Sep 2008
Briar’s* 7 year old son John* stayed over at a friends. When he returned home the next day, he told Briar that his friend’s mum had interrogated him about whether Briar smacked him. John confessed to Briar that he had answered that sometimes she did. Ironically, the friend’s mum sometimes smacked her own children while John was staying! The friend’s mum told John to run away to her place the next time Briar gave him a smack. Within a few days, Briar was rung by CYF and was told that an anonymous complaint of child abuse had been made and that they were going to interview Briar’s other children at school. CYF told Briar that they had informed John that mum was never to smack him and if she did, he should ring CYF. A couple of months later, CYF rang Briar to say that the case was closed but she was not to smack. Since then John has become very angry, defiant and rebellious. Briar, a solo mum, is struggling to cope and is very stressed by the whole ordeal. However, because she has decided to continue smacking when necessary, Briar is afraid to seek outside help for fear of further interference.

12. Mother suspended for tapping child on hand 
North Island
October 2008
A 3-year old was at work with her mother at a community centre. Her mother was putting her to bed for an afternoon nap and the child started throwing a temper tantrum and scratching mum’s arm. She didn’t respond to mum’s voice so mum tapped her on the back of the hand. Not a hit or a slap. No red marks, raised skin, bruising – just a compliant child! For this, mum was suspended from work and charged with two counts of gross misconduct and child abuse. The employer threatened to refer the case to the police and go to CYF. However, her lawyer successfully got the employer to drop the case. Mum is back at work but she’s still feeling angry that something between her and her daughter should be treated so.

CHILDREN REMOVED
13. Daughter (10) dobs mum to CYF after grounding 
Auckland
November 2008
Two CYF workers arrived at Tania’s* home to say there was a complaint by her daughter (10) that mum had smacked her. Tania was distraught but said that they could talk to her daughter uninterrupted to determine if she was unsafe. The social workers simply wanted to remove her (but ironically they left Tania’s 8 year old at home.) Eventually they agreed that the daughter could stay the night with the godmother. The following day, the investigation found no basis for the complaint and that it had stemmed from Tania’s daughter and a friend being angry with mum for preventing her from attending the friend’s party. Mum and Dad are now feeling very powerless with their parenting. They say “every time someone gets told off in our home you feel like you will be told on, we are being held to ransom by this new law.” Their daughter has told them that if they discipline her “we’ll go through all this again.”

14. Solo Mum Investigated by Police When Child Falls Over
South Auckland
This South Auckland mother had no previous CYF or Police involvement. In October, she took her 5 year old shopping. As they were leaving the supermarket, the mother chased some money which the daughter had dropped. She then grabbed the child’s hand to lead the child to the car, but the child tripped and fell over. When mum got her daughter back to the car, she gave her a hug and kiss. An hour later, 2 police officers were at the door interviewing both her and her 5 year old after a complaint had been laid. The police said it was a waste of time, but the complaint would be held on file. The mother said “They could have phoned. Their visit surprised me. It made me feel like a criminal. It made me question my parenting skills. I may have been frazzled but in no way did I abuse my child.”

15. Police Investigate Grandmother for Giving Swearing Grandchild a Smack in Shop
Bay of Plenty
In October, a woman had been shopping with her granddaughter at one of the Warehouse stores in the Bay of Plenty to buy a bubble blowing Kit. They decided on one on a lower shelf when the granddaughter spotted one more expensive higher up and insisted that she wanted that one. Grandma said no and the granddaughter let her feelings be known in an offensive verbal manner using the F word amongst others. Grandma responded with a smack. As they left the store, she was surprised to find a policeman waiting to interview her. Aaccording to the store management, a complaint had been made by a member of the public. Fortunately they didn't press charges, but the grandmother was shocked. 

17. School Dobs Mum to CYF for Hand Smack
Wellington
Sunday Star Times 28 October 2007
A Wellington mother says her family has been left traumatised by new anti-smacking laws, after her son's school reported her to Child, Youth and Family for smacking him on the hand. "I don't want to feel like a child abuser, and I don't want to be labelled as a child abuser because I smacked my son," she said. "It's brought a lot of trauma to our family unit and unnecessary stress." The woman, who did not wish to be named because she says she fears losing her children, says another smacking several months later resulted in a visit from police and referral to a foster care agency – despite the police not charging her. Read Full Report and Here
Read Full Testimony of the Mother

18. Boy Calls 111 to Report Parents
East Auckland
Eastern Courier 3 August 2007
A boy called 111 after learning about the new child discipline regulations at school. The 11-year-old turned to police fearing he was assaulted by his parents, but it turned out that he was being disciplined. "He was engaging in offensive and obstructive behaviour and his parents intervened with reasonable force," Howick-Otara family violence coordinator sergeant Brett Woodmass says. "The boy said he had learnt about the law at school and I believe he was misinformed," he says.
Read Full Report

19. Mother Investigated After 4 Year Old Smacked For Running Out on Road
West Auckland
Jackie’s 4 year old ran across the road outside a busy supermarket when she saw a friend on other side of road. The mum smacked her on the bottom once to show her how dangerous her actions were. A member of the public challenged the way she had disciplined her child, took her vehicle registration, and the mum was visited by police two days later. She felt like a criminal and embarrassed by it all. She said “please don’t take my daughter” to the police. They did a police check to see if it had happened before. The Police (who had kids as well) told the mum they felt it was a waste of time. The daughter said “what’s wrong mummy,” and was upset by it all.

22. Passerby Reports Squealing Child
Auckland
Tanya had two police officers arrive on her doorstep as she was hosting visitors on a Saturday night. The police informed her that a ‘passer by’ had heard a child being smacked and subsequently screaming. They could not tell the mum what day this occurred on, what time or who the person was. She explained to them that her 9 year old daughter squeals when she plays, particularly when outside on the trampoline with her brother. She likes to play hard with her 13 year old brother – and inevitably she sometimes gets hurts – and performs! The mum says the passer-by could have heard her children 'playing' – “do I have to stop them having fun??”

“We don't smack our kids (or if we have in the past, it has been minor) and this incident did not occur. I informed the officers accordingly. They insisted that they needed to see my daughter. I informed them that she was now with her father as we share custody. I gave them full contact details. They told me they would have to go around there to check she was OK.”   

“I have found the whole episode to be extremely distressing. I felt completely humiliated to literally be accused of child abuse and have now found it hard to sleep at night at it has upset me so much - how I look after and care for my children is being questioned. On hearsay I am now a guilty person. This new law is ending up with a lot of good innocent parents being wrongfully accused. This law needs to be changed.”

23. Grandmother Warned by Police After Grabbing Grandchild Running onto Road
South Auckland
This grandmother had to prevent her 2 year old grandson from running onto the road by grabbing his arm and pulling him back to the footpath. She was petrified that her grandson could be run over. A police officer witnessed her and said she was breaking the law by grabbing him. She was let off with a warning but was told that if it ever happened again, they would prosecute her. She had recently lost a friend’s child (6) to a train crash. (Takanini)

She now puts him in the pram to avoid getting arrested. Her family is horrified by what's happened and she's now concerned about taking her grandchildren out in public. She feels she's been publicly humiliated.

Another grandmother came up to her and said she'd been interviewed by the police for giving her 4 year old grandson a smack on the bottom in Countdown for swearing at her. The woman was taken to the police station to be interviewed.